Welcome back friends, today's blog is going to be piggybacking off Creating and Emotional Scene with Dialogue and Symbolism. I'll be looking back into that memory and questioning my decisions and actions. Asking "if I did this instead, how would this change the outcome?" This type of thinking and writing style is know as Counterfactual. For more information about this subject, I encourage you to listen to Rewinding & Rewriting: The Alternate Universes in Our Heads (NPR Hidden Brain Episode). Now if you're more of a reader than a listener I recommend reading Mark Twain's Two Views of the River. And now with out further a due, let's rewind.
Reflecting on my actions and decisions from that night, I believe I made the right choices. But what would've happened if I didn't march down those stairs and break up the fight? I can only imagine the level of violence escalating to the point of someone being hospitalized or even killed. Now I know some people may think I'm exaggerating, but it's happened before. When I was younger and helpless a similar fight broke out and my mother was sent to the emergency room. It would be very difficult for me to do a counterfactual scene for I had two choices; 1- was to go down and break up the fight, 2- would be to not go down stairs and just ignore everything. So if I were to do the opposite of what I've already done It would all have to come from my imagination and from either my mother's or my step father's perspective.
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For today's blog I'll be creating a scene embedded with emotions and symbolism as a test run for the upcoming memoir. The following texts have given me an understanding of the genre; To You, I Belong (Becky Thompson), What is Creative Nonfiction? (Lee Gutkind), What is Memoir? , The Fundamental Differences between Memoir and Autobiography . Then these other three texts taught me different styles that create emotional and symbolic scenes; Making Scenes in Memoir (Lee Martin), My Name is Margaret (Maya Angelou), Hills Like White Elephants (Ernest Hemingway). I recommend these texts if you plan to write a narrative of your own.
*Glass Breaking* I glance over to the clock to see what time it is, 2:36 am. Unsure of what caused my untimely awakening, I lean up from sleeping position on my bed in order to focus my hearing. As my ears slowly adjust to the silence, I begin to hear the source of my disturbance. *Inaudible voices yelling, followed by more glass shattering* I instantly hop out of bed and race downstairs to break up the fight going on. As the two culprits came into view, I let out a sigh of frustration. My mother and step dad are at it again. Screaming at each other, throwing shit at each other, hitting each other etc. Accustomed to this type of behavior from them, in a loud and decisive voice, I yell, " What are you guys doing? It's two in the morning, I need to sleep so I can do well on the ACTs tomorrow." Their heads flick over to me, realizing that their chaos has now brought me into the mix. I look towards my mother, her eyes are red and puffy from crying, her voice strained and scratchy from yelling so much. She has another glass in her hand ready to beam it at my step dad. Then my eyes shoot over to my step dad, who looks tired and fed up. "Can you please get this crazy woman away from me, so I can leave?" My step dad pleaded. "You're a stupid lying bastard! Get the fuck out of my house," Mother starts screaming and begins to raise her arm with the glass in it. Seeing as two glasses have already been shattered, I race towards her to prevent the third. Now that I've inserted myself right between them, I have effectively decreased the chance of my mother throwing the glass. "Mom, can you please stop breaking the glasses, and put the one in your hand down?" I ask, pleadingly. As she lowers the glass, a string of insults are hurled at one another. This clearly re-enraging my mother, she says, " Gage, get of my way." "Sorry mom, but you know I can't do that. Because the second I do this little fight is going to turn into a full on fist fight. And frankly that's not something I feel like dealing with right now," I calmly explain. My mom desperately tries to push herself around me but I grab her arms in order to hold her back. "Gage, go back upstairs, I won't tell you again," My mother threatens. "Scott, go pack your bag and leave before I get tired of this shit and stop holding her back, or act like adults. And since I can't trust you two to handle this like adults and not break stuff or get violent, I'm staying right here. Why don't y'all try and actually talk to one another, don't yell, don't hit each other, don't throw shit at one another. Sit down and talk, and while one of you speaks the other one just sits and listens, no interrupting or cutting each other off," I state, firmly. My rant taking their focus and allowing them to calm down a bit, at least enough for them both to take a seat. My mother then goes to the garage to light up a cigarette. My step dad begins grabbing his bag to leave. I walk to the garage door to check on mt mother and right as I grab the knob I hear mumbling mixed with sobbing. My mothers words almost inaudible, but I could make out bits and pieces. She was doubting her ability to be a good mother and give her children the best start. Now, I was truly shocked. My mother has never before doubted her ability to be a mother, she was always strong, stubborn, held all the authority in the house. So seeing her in such a weak and broken state, just baffled me. And that all this lashing out she does isn't a display of power or aggression, but pain and sorrow. This thought followed by maybe the glasses weren't the only thing broken that night. In today's blog I'll be imitating a round table discussion with three authors focusing on a writer's writing process. To best simulate a discussion I will be using quotes from the following texts; Teach Writing as a Process Not a Product (Don Murray) -- introduction is not required reading, Against Vanity: In Praise of Revision (Mary Karr) , Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life | pp. 28 -34 | Short Assignments & Shitty First Drafts (Anne Lamott). All these authors have interesting ideologies, and words about the writing process, and so with that I'm eager to hear what they have to say.
Mary Karr starts with, "Reading through history cultivates in a writer a standard of quality higher than the marketplace. You can be a slave to current magazines or a slave to history. History’s harder, but also more stable—and the books are better because they’ve been culled over time." "Though I understand that we can learn from past writers and mimic their style, but we are not them. We live in a different time, a different society, different technology, different psychology and physiology We can not always be looking to the past for help or answers," I replied. And to wrap my point with a quote from John F. Kennedy, "Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." "Writing is the act of producing a first draft. It is the fastest part of the process, and the most frightening, for it is a commitment," explains author Don Murray. "I agree that it can be frightening, but not because it's a commitment. In fact since it is just the opposite, a first draft You haven't poured your heart and soul into that story yet. And because you haven't It is easier to start over, from scratch if you turn out not liking what you've written. Your first draft is like a pre-test, you take it in order to get a feel for how the story would be. And if you don't like boom, you can change it. None of it is set in stone," I proclaim. "E. L. Doctorow once said that 'writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.' You don’t have to see where you’re going, you don’t have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice about writing, or life, I have ever heard," states Anne Lamott. "That is amazing advice. I agree that those first lines are some of the hardest to write. They set the pace, tone and plot for the rest of the lines to come. And so people get caught up on them and become overwhelmed. But once they write those first lines and carry them a bit, if later down the line they decide they don't like them, then it becomes a simple revision," I add. For this post, I read A Fable for the Living (Kevin Brockmeier) to frame my blog post. This story is about writing letters to fallen loved ones. Reconnecting with those long gone about life updates, the search for answers, and even guidance or advice. This helped me with ideas on how to reconnect with a lost self of my own. This would be my author self, and in the following letter I'll be looking for redemption with my author self and becoming one with that self once again.
Dear Coaltn, Our relationship has never been healthy, It was more like that of a craftsman and his tools. But, more particularly that of a tool for which he rarely had a need for. Sitting, collecting dust while yearning for the chance to be needed just one more time. I only let you out when it was convenient for me, like when I had a writing assignment due for class. But rarely ever let out when you weren't needed. I know what it feels like to be unwanted, unneeded, and consumed by the feeling of being useless. And now I realize this is the feeling I have been instilling you with. And with this realization came a wave of guilty for oppressing you for so long. So now I humbly request for your forgiveness. And at this moment I know I'm undeserving of such forgiveness, but I've come up with a plan to redeem myself and earn that forgiveness. This plan would become effective immediately. My idea is that every other day I will dedicate a ten minute creative writing session to you for which you can write about what ever you please. You can even upload them to this blog. You will be free to express yourself, your opinions, stories and what ever else you may want to. Then on the weekends, I'll give you an hour to work on what ever writing you want. Hopefully with these changes we can be reunited as one and live life together oppose to separately. Sincerely, Gage Louk This blog was created with the focus of connecting to my author self. To explore writing techniques, genres and style to find my own. Then to use that knowledge to further myself in life and education. And by making a blog, I put myself at the mercy of other's criticism, and feedback all to grow and learn.
The sources used to make this blog will be below.
Introduction with Links:
The Proust Questionnaire Marcel Proust Biography Hello and welcome to my first blog ever, for my English composition course. For this first assignment I will be answering The Proust Questionnaire which is a 35 question personality quiz.This Quiz was developed by the French writer Marcel Proust. He believed that this questionnaire revealed one's true self. I'm looking forward to seeing who I really am, and I suggest that you will also give it a try. __1.__What is your idea of perfect happiness? A Life full of fun and peace. __2.__What is your greatest fear? A spider clown centaur thing eating me. __3.__What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? My laziness. Lack of motivation to do anything. __4.__What is the trait you most deplore in others? Self Deprivation. __5.__Which living person do you most admire? No one, I've never had any idols, role models, or celebrities that I looked up to. __6.__What is your greatest extravagance? Gaming, I spend the most money on games or equipment. __7.__What is your current state of mind? Calm, and bored. __8.__What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Righteousness. Why should I be a good person when 90% of the people around me aren't. __9.__On what occasion do you lie? Anytime I can pull it off to get out of trouble. __10.__What do you most dislike about your appearance? Glasses or my acne, honestly I don't care about my outward appearance hence why I dress like a homeless person. __11.__Which living person do you most despise? I don't despise anyone. __12.__What is the quality you most like in a man? Courage and Bravery. __13.__What is the quality you most like in a woman? Courage and Bravery. __14.__Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Bruh, thats cap. __15.__What or who is the greatest love of your life? No one. __16.__When and where were you happiest? Probably when I was younger, I cant remember a time i was truly happy with life. I've had happy moments but never been truly happy. __17.__Which talent would you most like to have? Humor, ability to make anyone laugh. __18.__If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Nothing, although I know I'm flawed. Part of life is changing or staying the same. __19.__What do you consider your greatest achievement? Don't have one. __20.__If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? I would become a tree. Live long and peaceful, and just watch the world go through changes. __21.__Where would you most like to live? Somewhere uninhabited but that still has wifi. __22.__What is your most treasured possession? My gaming computer. __23.__What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? I think that it is different for everyone. __24.__What is your favorite occupation? Youtuber or streamer. __25.__What is your most marked characteristic? Anti-Social. __26.__What do you most value in your friends? Our loyalty and strong bond to one another. __27.__Who are your favorite writers? Marie Lu. __28.__Who is your hero of fiction? Don't have one. __29.__Which historical figure do you most identify with? I don't know. I don't know many historical figures. __30.__Who are your heroes in real life? Fire fighters, paramedics, white helmets. __31.__What are your favorite names? Gon, Colton. __32.__What is it that you most dislike? I hate everything equally. __33.__What is your greatest regret? I have too many to pick just one. __34.__How would you like to die? I want to go out with a bang, on some crazy type shit. __35.__What is your motto? Work smarter, not harder. |
CoaltnI'll be using this blog to explore the many processes of writing and to make meaning. ArchivesCategories
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